Tips on how to listen
Now, I’m not trying to be deliberately condescending here, but I’ve found this to be the case very often in my life: some people are great at listening, while others are horrendous. It’s not their fault, it’s just that they never learned how to. So, with that in mind, here is my advice in list form on how to be a good friend and listen more:
1) Say you work for a red diesel suppliers and you’ve just gone to work in some shoes that you love. You weren’t worried, you never spilt any on your shoes, until today…when a barrel breaks and spills chemicals all over your shoes and trousers! Nightmare. That’s them ruined. You are now traumatized and need to speak to someone who can listen. You decide to call Doug.
What should you do differently next time with Doug or someone else?
2) You are Doug, yes you are. And as you listen to your friend’s woes you start to drift off and think about what you’re having for dinner tonight. Your friend doesn’t seem to notice and this just enables you to get away with it even more. But here’s the thing, later that night your friend lies awake and can’t sleep. He doesn’t feel like he got anything off his chest. What should you do differently next time with Doug or someone else? How about this: a) focus on your friend. You’d want someone else to do the same for you in a time of need, right?
…b) don’t suggest the obvious. Your friend knows that, that’s why it’s obvious! c) don’t tread on egg-shells, just say what you think because that always works better, which leads us to…d) sometimes you just have to be cruel to be kind, whether it’s chemicals on shoes or whatever it may be. Your friend may be upset to begin with but later he or she will see that you only have their best interests at heart. Fantastic!
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